********************************

March 17, 1999
Casey's Bar
11:18 p.m.

"Well, if it isn't my very own little Leprechaun! What are you doing here?" I ask Scully, as I watch her approach me with her arms folded across her chest. I know she's pissed. Well, why should today be any different than yesterday or the last month for that matter?

"I don't know why I'm here. Mulder, are you drunk?" she asks me, even though she knows I am well on my way to being completely tanked. I'm not quite there yet, though. Not enough to deal with her if she plans on remaining in this mood.

"Come 'er, Scully. Sit down next to me and have a beer. It's been a long time since I've seen you," I say, as I attempt to reach for her. She steps back away from me before I can make contact. Or at least I think she does.

"Mulder, I just saw you at work a few hours ago," she says, her arms still crossed, her face not looking very amused.

"You know what I mean," I tell her. We haven't seen each other outside of work since around Valentine's day, before that whole Cassandra Spender affair went down. She has been severely ticked off at me since then, but she says she doesn't want to discuss it. From what I can see, she assumes I should be able to guess at what I did wrong this time. Mars, Venus and all that shit.

"Come on, Mulder. Let me take you home," Scully says as she looks down at her watch. A patron carrying about four steins of green beer bumps into her, causing a splash that drenches her backside. I watch her jump but not lose her cool as a guy in a plastic green derby hat apologizes profusely. Scully's temper hasn't flared at all since she questioned me about Diana's loyalty.

Of course, with the lack of temper, I've also experienced a lack of anything else, too.

"You had me at home for almost a whole week not that long ago. You didn't want me anywhere near you, *Laura,*" I tell her. It was hard, being that close to her, yet not being allowed anywhere near at all. I wanted to keep my arm around her all the time, but she would just pull away as soon as she could. Occasionally her hand would linger longer than it should, and I'd get my hopes up that we were on our way to recovery.

At least we had work to focus on, and she tried everything possible to be unattractive and shrew-like. As if that could ever work and automatically turn off everything I feel for her.

"I didn't say I was taking you to my home, Mulder. I'm dropping you off at your place. We have a meeting at seven tomorrow morning and I need you there this time," she says, as she grabs my arm and tries to pull me up off the bar stool.

I pull her my way instead, and catch her in my arms. "I've got a better idea."

"No, Mulder," she says sternly, as she pulls back against the hold I have over her, her hands firmly on my chest.

"No. Not that. I think. . . I think we need . . . to talk," I say, and she looks quite taken aback.

I must admit to myself that it is a novel approach for me. I rarely ever suggest we talk. The two of us just kind of stumble into any heart to heart chat we might have. I thought during the time we spent as 'man and wife' out in California might lead us into a conversation about what happened to us as a couple, but it never did. We just came back home and went our separate way. God, I really fucked up this time. I got the X-Files back, but I lost Scully.

Scully watches me carefully, trying to judge my sincerity. What does she think? I'm simply going to try to get her home and back into bed?

"Okay. Let's talk," she says after a minute of consideration.

"Hold on a minute. Let me pay my tab, okay? Then we can get out of here," I tell her, as I count out the money and hand it to the blonde bartender.

"Goodnight, Spooky," she says with a smile, and I bid her goodnight, too. Once again, Scully looks slightly shocked that I know another woman, as if my world rotates solely around her; as if she is the moon and the stars and the sun. Okay. She's all those things plus more, but does she have to assume it so easily? I don't care. I love to see Scully green with envy. It adds something to the festivities.

We step out into the chilly night air, and I watch as Scully shoves her hands deep into her jacket pockets. She keeps the same amount of space between us as we walk towards her car, never wavering nearer or further, never giving up her personal space.

"Well, where to?" she asks as we both settle into our seats and buckle up.

"I don't know," I say, looking at the hour on the dashboard clock.

"Denny's? With the rest of the drunks?" she asks, looking squarely at me.

"I'm not that drunk, Scully. I only had a few beers. Besides, you're the one who smells like a brewery," I say, as I lean my head back against the headrest and shut my eyes.

"Shut up," she says as the car jerks away rapidly from the curb.

*********************************************

We end up at the same Denny's we ate at right after the first night we made love, the place where we came to meet her brother Charlie. This time she doesn't slide into the booth next to me, nor does she intertwine her fingers with mine.

Our waitress is all smiles, happier than anyone should be when they are working at this hour. She asks to take our order in a heavy Jamaican accent, which seems funny considering she is wearing a very large "Kiss Me, I'm Irish!" pin on her uniform.

She looks slightly disappointed as we both only order coffee, probably figuring she's not going to make much of a tip from us.

"We might order something in awhile. Depending on how long this takes," I say, nodding in Scully's direction.

"I understand, honey," she says, with a wink.

"What would you like to talk about, Mulder?" Scully asks, staring me down with a sobering glare.

"Us. What happened to us, Scully?" I ask straight out. She doesn't break that stare, and I know I'm supposed to know the answer to this already.

"For someone so smart, how can you sometimes be so stupid," she says, looking down at her hands folded neatly on the Formica tabletop.

"Scully, apparently I fucked up big somehow. I've come to that realization by now. What I need from you is for you to tell me how I screwed this all up so I don't ever do it again," I say, as I reach over and put my hands over hers. She doesn't pull away this time.

"That night I told you about Diana, you stopped trusting me, Mulder. It might not have been for long, but you did," she says, her eyes meeting mine again.

"I have never stopped trusting you, Scully. Just because I didn't believe what you were telling me doesn't mean I stopped trusting you. Hell, how many times have you not believed me? What makes you think I stopped?" I ask.

"You went to her," she says. I wanted to prove Scully was wrong about her. What I should have been trying to prove was how Scully was so right about her. No one has seen Diana since that night.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, that somehow I damaged something so important between us," I say.

The waitress comes back with our coffee, and I take my hands away from Scully's. She fiddles around with her coffee, trying to get it to taste right. Or just trying to avoid me.

"Why did you do it?" she asks and I can feel my eyes shift away from her as I think of what transpired between Diana and me that night. She doesn't know about the kisses, about the holding and the tender words that were exchanged. Little did I know they would be some of our last.

Finally my eyes meet hers, and I take her hand again. "Sometimes it is just easier to go backwards than it is to go forwards, Scully."

"Meaning?" she asks, pulling away from me once.

"I know. . . knew exactly where I stood with Diana. We had already been to relationship hell and back together. There was no way I could screw that relationship up anymore. That night I just wanted to quit, give it all up, let them finally win. I could comfortably tell her that I have had enough. I just couldn't admit that to you," I say.

"Why could you admit that to her? Because you've known her longer? Because you were more comfortable with her? I just don't get it, Mulder. What are you afraid of?" she asks me.

"I'm afraid I might ruin it all with you. Afraid that I can't live without you anymore. Afraid that you don't want me as much as I want you. Afraid that everything you and I have done for the last few years doesn't amount to shit. Most of all, I'm afraid that someday when I put this on and call you 'wife,' I'm not going to ever want to take it off," I say, as I slap a gold band onto the table top. I've had it in my jacket pocket since we flew back to DC from California.

"You were supposed to return that," she says, as she picks it up and toys with it. Hers went back the minute we returned to work.

"Why? It's mine," I say, and I watch that furrow between her brows form, like a little question mark for everything in her head she wants to ask.

"You and. . . Diana?" she asks, her voice growing quiet and still.

"No, actually. I had it to do a few undercover jobs shortly before the X-files. Nothing quite as detailed and enjoyable as being married to you, though," I say, and she breathes a slight sigh of relief. I wonder what her reaction would have been if I had said yes.

"So, where do we go from here, Mulder?" she asks. We seem to ask this a lot, as we always seem to be hitting some new brick wall. I sit back and study her seriously. She looks so damn beautiful tonight, her hair not dried as severely straight as usual. It cascades around her face and if I could just get her to smile, my night would be complete.

"Scully, I know you are mad. I know you might not ever forgive me for what I did, but I want to go forwards with you. Only you," I tell her earnestly.

"Until when, Mulder? Until you aren't comfortable again? Until somewhere between this holiday and the next you decide you are too afraid for this all to work out?" she asks.

We do seem to have a particular penchant for coming together on holidays. Unfortunately we missed her birthday this year. I was out trying to acquire a portable backboard while she was gathering up equipment. When Skinner presented us with that particular assignment and told us not to take the married bit too seriously, the look on Scully's face was priceless. It should have occurred to me sooner that her birthday was going to be spent away from home.

"I never gave you your birthday present," I say, and her eyebrow arches up.

"What does that have to do with anything?" she asks me, as if I'm trying to wiggle my way out of the conversation I initiated.

"It has nothing to do with this. I missed your . . . what? Thirty-fifth Birthday? You were away from your family, we weren't exactly getting along, and I forgot to give you your present because I was too damn busy to remember," I say, as she hands me back my ring. I put it back into my pocket.

"This would mean you went out and bought me a present, right, Mulder?" she asks incredulously.

"Of course I did. How big of a ass do you think I am?" I ask, and the look on her face most certainly answers that question.

"So, where is this so called present," she asks, her eyebrow still peaked, her voice still filled with doubt.

"My place. Why don't you come home with me and I'll give it to you," I say.

"Um. . . no. I don't think that would be such a good idea, Mulder," she says, squirming in her seat a little.

"Come on, Scully. Nothing like that. I've missed you being around past five p.m. Just come over for awhile," I plead, of course with the secret hope that this damn wall we've created between us will just crumble.

"Okay," she says as I signal for the waitress to bring us our check.

"Here you go," I say to the woman, "and keep the change."

The woman just gives me another wink and Scully and I walk towards the door together.

***********************************************

"What is it this time?" Scully asks as I hand her an oblong white box tied in a shiny red ribbon.

"Well, this time, to go with the spirit of our relationship right now, it's an Apollo XIII keychain," I glibly say.

"What am I getting next time? Challenger?" she retorts with that smile I was hoping for.

"Oh, Scully. That hurts. Go ahead and open it," I say. She slowly unties the ribbon holding the package together, and pulls the lid off. A black velvet box slips out as she turns it over, and her expression changes into one of puzzlement.

She makes a slight gasping sound as she pulls the bracelet I bought for her out.

"Mulder. . . I, um" she says, as she holds it up.

"It has, um, little Xs on it, see, and it made me think of you," I say nervously, knowing in a second she's going to tell me it is too much, and that I should take it back.

"Really, Mulder, it's nice, but it is way too much," she says, as she goes to place it back in its box.

"Nope. You're keeping it," I say, as I pull it out of her hands, take her wrist and clasp it on.

"It's nice, Mulder, it really is. By the way, these are Xs and Os," Scully says as she looks at the bracelet on her wrist.

"Really? Let me see?" I ask, and she presents her wrist to me. In between each little gold X is the O made by a diamond.

"See?"

"Mmm hmmm," I say, as I bring her hand up to my mouth and place a kiss on it.

"Mulder, I, um, really need to get going," she says, but doesn't pull her hand away. She's still mad at me, probably will be for a long time, but I have missed being with her so much. I hope a small part of her misses me, too. From the way she is slowly moving towards me, I'm guessing that maybe more than one part of her misses me.

"Hugs and kisses, Scully. Xs and Os," I say as I pull her to me and wrap her in my arms. This time she doesn't push me away or brush me off, but rather she sinks into me. It is so damn comfortable when she isn't always fighting against me.

I cover her mouth with mine, and we share our first kiss in over a month. Her tongue searches my mouth and she tastes of coffee. She jerks her head away suddenly, leaving me standing there open mouthed and surprised.

"Beer and coffee, Mulder, don't make for pleasant bed fellows," she says.

"Hold on. I'll be right back," I tell her as I dash towards the bathroom to brush my teeth.

I come back out with the toothbrush dangling from my mouth to show her something. She is sitting on the couch looking at the bracelet I just put on her.

"Ook, Schuwee," I say, holding up the tube of toothpaste. It is squeezed nice and evenly from the bottom, something I've been practicing.

"I'm impressed, Mulder. You really can change," she says.

"Ooo bettuh bewieve it," I say, as I hurry back into the bathroom, spit and put the toilet seat down.

*************************************************

Her mouth is under mine again and it is like we are picking up right where we left off on Valentine's day. That is nothing new for us. We always seem to be picking up the pieces, carefully packing them away and moving forwards. My stupidity seems to have been forgiven.

"I'm still mad at you," she says as she pulls away from my kiss.

"I'm still sorry," I say, as I pull her to me again. We are sitting on my couch making out like kids.

I finally pull her onto my lap, and she grinds against me ever so slightly, but it is enough.

"Miss me?" she asks, as she looks down between us.

"More than you will ever know. Listen, Scully, I finally got my bed fixed. Well, actually, after the whole waterbed thing, I just got a regular mattress and frame and kept the. . .well, you'll see. And it doesn't smell mildewed in there anymore," I say, and she looks incredibly puzzled.

"You have a bed? You had a waterbed?" she asks, as she sits back on my lap. I am so sure I told her this whole story at least once.

"I have a bed now, Scully. Come on. . ." I say, as I stand her up and push her gently towards my bedroom.

"Uh huh," she says, as she catches a glimpse of the overhead mirrors, "I bet that's come in handy over the last month."

"Ha ha. Very funny," I say, as I sit down and pat the bed. She sits next to me, but doesn't even make a move to look up. I've had the bed for awhile, but never knew who it came from. I was a little leery of using it, figuring it was rigged to blow up or something. In a way, I was right. But soon after Scully told me to take myself out of her space, I started using it, figuring who the hell cares if I died. I just didn't think I was going to almost drown.

"Mulder, how do you sleep looking at yourself?" she asks, as she takes a short glance upwards.

"Well, as you should know by now, I usually fall asleep on my side when I'm in a bed. Besides, most nights I still sleep on the couch," I tell her, as I pull her backwards so we are both looking up at ourselves in the mirror. Scully rolls on to her side, props herself up her elbow, and gives me a kiss.

"Shut your eyes, Mulder," she instructs, after catching me peeking upwards.

"No, Scully, you shut your eyes," I tell her as I pull her onto her back again. She puts her arm over her eyes as I begin to unbutton her blouse. "You'll have to move your arm in order for me to get this off."

I have her completely undressed in just a minute and my tongue is traveling the length of her delicious body, as I move from her neck down. Her nipples harden under the touch of my tongue, and I suck on one and then the other, not wanting to neglect anything. I move down her abdomen, and I pull her knees apart and kiss the insides of each of her thighs before heading for my intended target. She jumps slightly has my mouth makes contact and then I hear giggling.

"What's wrong?" I ask, poking my head up and looking at her.

"It just looks so. . silly," Scully says, pointing upwards.

"Get under here," I tell her, as I pull the comforter up off the floor and cover her up. I then burrow up from the foot of the bed and start pleasuring her again in the dark. I move my tongue into her folds, feeling her wetness, before I finally make contact with her clit. I take her into my mouth, as I feel the little bundle of nerves grow from the contact. I find the rhythm she desires and within minutes, Scully is bucking her hips up against my face as she moans out something. I would love to know what, but I can't hear buried under this blanket and between her thighs.

I crawl the rest of the way up her body under the comforter and poke my head out even with her face.

"You're sweating," she says, as he touches my forehead.

"It got really hot under there, Scully," I say.

"Tell me about it," she says, as she pulls my face down to hers for a kiss. We taste like mint and coffee and Scully, and it is delicious. Scully is always delicious. I think I could survive on her alone.

"You know what's sad, Scully?" I say, as I break away from her delving tongue.

"What?"

"We had that whole big house, and we wasted it. Wasted all that space. Wasted the Roman bathtub. Wasted the staircase. Wasted the kitchen counter. Hell, we could've done it on the front yard and seen if that fell outside of the proper CC and Rs," I tell her, as I think of all the spots we could have done it in between investigating.

"Mulder, first of all, we were working," she chides me.

"Like that's ever mattered," I say, remembering working our way through a greenhouse in Florida.

"Second, you put a big hole in the front yard. And third, who said that the Roman tub was entirely wasted," Scully says with a sly smile.

"Scully! And you didn't invite me in to watch!" I exclaim.

"Next time we go undercover as Ricky and Lucy, we will somehow find the time to have sex on every surface of the house, but for the present, why don't we just think about having sex here," she tells me.

"Okay," I say, not stupid enough to keep talking when sex is an immediate option.

"Mulder, that porno flick atrocity really has to go," Scully says.

"I'll tell you what. If you get on top, you won't be able to see," I say, anxious to make love to her in any which way. I don't much care.

"Yeah. But you will," she says, her eyes squinting at me.

"Yes. Well, that is the added bonus, isn't it?" I say, as I fling off the covers and pull Scully around and on top of me.

She sinks onto me, I sink into her, and all is right with the world again. That is until she puts a pillow over my face.

"Hey! If you want to kill me could you at least wait until we are done," I say through several inches of feathers.

She pulls the pillow away and leans in close to my face.

"Then keep your eyes on me, not on *us*," she instructs, and my eyes don't leave her face again.

"I'll try."

She rises and falls on my cock, and together we make the wet, sticky noises of love. My hands cup her breasts and I focus intently on their movements. I try to concentrate on anything rather than my desire to look up. Finally, her eyes go shut and I try to take a little peek towards heaven.

"Don't even think about it," she says without even looking. She must be able to hear my eyeballs moving in their sockets or something.

Soon her motions aren't enough, and I'm thrusting up hard into her, as I listen to the beautiful little noise she makes with each upward motion I make. Her face is so serious, and she is lost in concentration.

"Come here," I say, as I roll us both onto our sides, not breaking our bond. Her legs wrap up around me tight and with my next thrust into her I hit bottom, causing her to gasp.

"I missed you," she whispers as I continue to thrust into her, my fingers circling her clit, wanting her to come with me. I want her to know how much I missed her, not just this part of her, but all of her.

"I was never gone, Scully," I say back to her, as her face goes all serious again, and I feel her internal muscles tighten and relax around me in a rhythmic fashion for several moments.

"Are you almost done, Mulder?" she asks, her eyes watching me closely.

"I'm sorry, am I keeping you from something?" I ask.

"Besides a few hours of sleep, no," she says, as she wraps herself tighter around me.

"You can sleep here and go home in the morning. I'll get to the meeting on time. They'll never suspect anything," I say as I continue thrusting into her.

"Oh no. They'll never suspect anything if you show up to a seven o'clock meeting on time," she says, chuckling.

"Scully, I'm trying to concentrate here," I say, as I become still. "Oh, my God. We've become an old married couple. We are discussing work while we are having sex."

"It was bound to happen sooner or later," she says, with a grin. Once again, it is so good to see her smile directed at me.

"Can I finish now, or do you have something else you'd like to add?" I ask her.

"I only want to add this," she says, as her mouth makes contact with my neck. It doesn't take long until I'm coming inside of her and mumbling incoherent vows of love and devotion.

I pull my sticky, wet self out of her warmth, and roll onto my back.

"Now, you want to talk about a silly looking sight," I say, as I watch my post-coital self in the mirror.

Scully turns her head to the direction of my reflection, and laughs.

"Makes one wonder why I keep coming back," she says, as she moves in closer to me.

****************************************************

We both lay snuggled up to each other, me in my pajama bottoms, her in the tops I've never worn.

"So, does this mean we are back to playing house again, Scully?" I ask, as I spoon in tighter against her body. I can tell she's almost asleep, and we need to get back up in about four hours.

"Only if you agree to take out the trash, pick up your dirty laundry, put the dishes away, dust, vacuum. . ." she starts ticking off a to do list.

"Just for the privilege of being with you?" I ask, wondering where the list was going to end.

"After the crap you've pulled, Mulder, I'm letting you off easy," she tells me in a sleepy voice.

"You always do," I whisper to her as we both drift off to sleep.

***********

The End of Ever Green

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